I don’t know about you, but I find myself in a constant wreck as I try to cope with the daily anxiety of being a good Mama. I love my girls and I would give ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to make sure that they are safe, healthy and happy children. From the very moment I gave birth to my first, I was always wondering whether I am doing enough, too much, and if I am doing it correctly; If they are well -balanced, emotionally strong, too spoilt, overly protected. Like lets be honest, as moms we carry a load! And that’s on top of basic ‘life’ stuff. Being a mom consumes every ounce of your being at times and I am learning that I have to do my best to take a step back, release my grip ever so often to make sure that I maintain my own sanity and mental well being.
Now I know I’m not the only one, and this recently I reached out to some other mom’s to share what are some of their worst ‘mom fears’ and hear some of the life giving Truth that they use to destroy those fears and settle their minds with the peace that they are doing everything they need to be doing for their littles in in the strength that GOD has given them.
I hope you enjoy what these awesome mama’s have to say. Happy Reading!
Rayshell, Mom of 6 month old Jayce.
As a new mom, I was constantly reading about motherhood. I feared not having all the answers but the truth is, motherhood doesn’t come with an official guideline, instead, it is a journey. You simply learn through the transition. Three months postpartum, I accepted this reality through self love. I embraced devotional time, prayers and self care. Loving yourself isn’t selfish, it makes you a better mom and partner. A better you!
Odessa, Mom of 5 year old Jarrah and 2 year old Jada
My greatest fear as a mom is not protecting my girls from danger (physical, mental, spiritual harm); their safety is my most significant concern, and trust me; there are others.
I had a dream recently that left me feeling a little uneasy concerning my very adventurous 2-year-old. Initially, I immediately started to worry. However, I quickly reminded myself to renew my mind and thoughts concerning God’s purpose for their lives and to trust His word. Proverbs 3:5-6 says,’ “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Whenever I find myself worrying about their safety, I am convicted that I am not trusting God at his word. These episodes of worry usually remind me that it is time to spend time in his word, to seek him and build your faith. I know that the enemy is always lurking. But as a mom, having experienced multiple pregnancies lost and considering the circumstances surrounding their births, I know that my girls are both miracle babies. God brought them both here for a reason. He has a purpose for their lives and will guide their paths. I trust that He will protect them regardless if I am able to protect them or not.
I can and will do my part by raising them to the best of my ability in God’s image, which is pleasing to him. But as a mom, that is exactly what I have been tasked to do. Everything else is in God’s hand. I trust that his Will will be done.
Brittany, Mom of 1 year old Sanard
It took me forever to put my thoughts into words as being a mother is such an honour yet it is so terrifying at times.
You are no longer only responsible for yourself but you now have a little human depending on your every move for their every need.
My greatest fear as a new mom was me being able to get “everything right ” as it relates to parenthood.
I wasn’t sure if I would understand and know what each cry meant or I f I would know how to comfort and soothe my new baby. If I would be able to raise up a respectful young black man and instill in him positive morals and values. Most of all if I would be able to break the black family stereotypes as it relates to showing my son love, affection and open communication.
I then realised that if I pray and trust in my Heavenly Father he would guide me and lead me along this new journey. I believed that if God was going to give me a son He was going to give me the strength, wisdom and knowledge that was needed to help me raise him.
Overcoming this fear was a process. I had to constantly remind myself that parenthood does not come with a manual or a ‘one rule fits all’ handbook.
Reminding myself that it is ok to fail and I should appreciate my failures just as much as I do my successes.
I had to allow myself to be a beginner as no one starts off being a pro or excellent at anything. I had to allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them as the more you do it the better you become at it.
Philippians 4:11 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. This verse tells me that if He brings me to it, He will bring me through it and with Him all things are possible. I made a promise to be the best mother that I can be to my little guy and in doing so I made some daily commitments that would help me break the black family culture.
1. Everyday my son hears these three words “Mummy Loves You”. I want him to always know and feel that he is loved.
2. Everyday once we get home I would ask him how was his day and give him a hug with a kiss. I want him to know that he is important and that he has a support system who is interested in him.
3. He is always encouraged to express himself verbally or emotionally as I want to create an environment for open communication.
4. I make time to teach him and play with him as I want him to learn that there is a time and place for everything.
5. Family time is important so at least one of our meals we do together daily. I believe this time helps us to build bonds and connections, instil family values and it brings about a feeling of security.
6. I always apologise when I’m wrong or if I’ve made a mistake. I want him to know that adults make mistakes too and it is important to own up to it and learn from it.
7. Lastly, we pray together every night before bed. This is our time to reflect and give GOD thanks for what He has done and for what He promises to do.
God knew me before He entrusted me with my little one, so I believe He has prepared me to help him fulfil His purpose for his life. So I may not be the best mother everyday but every day I am the mother that my son needs. I know that I may not have it all together but every day I make an effort to try.
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed” – Linda Wooten
I just want to say I was very much inspired by the boldness of these ladies. It feels reassuring to know for a fact that you are NOT ALONE! Hearing their experiences was very encouraging. We all experience fears at some point and I found strength in the words of advice shared with me and with you in this feature!
If you enjoyed this post, drop me a comment! I love to hear from you!
Special thanks to Rayshell Campbell, Brittany Palmer- Harvey and Odessa Forbes for agreeing to be apart and share their ‘MOM Fears‘ stories!
See you in Part 2!
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